Hi! I'm 'DJ Wanker'!

november 30, 08 sunday
2.40pm
OK, first thing's first. I HATE being called "DJ XXXX"!! I don't know why or how that term came about but it made me sound like a wanker! I was on radio for 12 years, but I was never a DJ. I was an announcer, because I never spanned discs. I produced and prepped my own programmes and was a paid working professional on payroll. I didn't work on a gig-to-gig basis. This was a full-time job. I cringed whenever people add the moronic term "DJ" before my name. Eew!


I have been unemployed for almost 6 months now (groan!), so imagine my surprise when Adek's girlfriend Haidi rung me up asking if she and some of her classmates wanted to interview me, as part of their celebrity assignment. They are students of fashion designing. I almost barfed. Celebrity?? I thought out of sight, out of mind. But Haidi assured me I am still remembered. Hmm. I said OK and set the date.


All 7 of them came. Shy. Quiet. Tongue tied. C'mon! You get to meet a 'celebrity', here's your chance - talk! Ask questions! Something!! It was so typical of Malaysian students. This whole 'being shy' b/s is old! Why can't our students talk?? Present themselves? Have confidence?? I was a bit annoyed that they were under-prepared as well, besides being shy. Only Haidi spoke. Even that she was quite unprepared - kept asking her group what else to ask?? I forgot. I remember when I was doing interviews for projects at college, and later on-air, I always had 10 questions prepared. Most times I never finished all 10 questions, because I'd go with where the conversation was taking me. But when I got stuck, I had that piece of paper with me. I was never unprepared for an interview. The whole thing made me feel I wasn't important enough for them to research and to prepare.

Good luck to them on their project. There were so many questions I thought they could've asked. They were fashion-related, they could've gotten a lot out of me.

Haidi came back in the evening and gave me a box of cupcakes the group bought for me, with "Thank you DJ XXXX" scribbled on it. I thought that was sweet. If only they didn't add the "DJ" before my name...The cupcakes were adorable, but sickly sweet, as I was never a fan of icing, and it was all icing!!

What a great idea for a gift!! I will certainly get this if I needed to buy food for guests or the host.

xoxo

The BIG Weekend Project

november 29, 08 saturday
10pm
Although this project was 3 weekends ago...

OK. Here's what usually happens on the weekends, be it Saturday or Sunday (because one of the days we get to sleep in!) :

9am wake up!/mandi/clean up and feed cats/wake up Husband J
10am pick up cleaners
11am in Bangsar/Kiara/FAM for breakfast and/or lunch
1p home

Pretty much a routine. So husband J's 'light bulb' switched on. Why not we re-paint the room!! OMG! What a brilliant idea!! NOT!

Anyway. I found myself at the DIY store nearby refusing to committ picking out colours. After all, I am completely clueless where interior designing (?) is concerned. Plus, I don't want to make-over the room! That means changing things around and I am never too crazy about changes. I'm like a cat, changes make me feel....ermmm...unstable. OK. That didn't sound right, but you get what I mean.

So the whole (late) afternoon, I pretty much stayed out of the way while J filled the cracks and sandpapered the walls. Now, J said it would take him the weekend to get the job done. Well, if you start work, like, at 4pm, it would be impossible to finish the job, no?? J started grumbling to the tune of: if 2 people do the work, we'd finish faster. Eh?? Didn't we agree for me to stay out of the way? The room was in a complete mess with dust, paint stains, newspapers and furniture everywhere. For a bit, looking at the state of my bedroom, I was beginning to think this was a baaaaad idea.


I picked up a roller and rolled new coat of paint on the walls. That was my first time ever painting walls. I was not optimistic. It didn't look like we were going to finish it over the weekend. We spent 3 nights sleeping in one of the rooms upstairs (thank God this house has many rooms!!) and were struggling to get the room finished as soon as possible.


We ended up finishing the walls and cleaning up the room in 4 days, which included pushing the furniture back where they belonged.

I was initially upset that J painted the window grills as well, as I wanted them to remain black. Buuuuut..it turned out quite...classy.

Now, we have a room with clean walls with some colour! We had white walls and they were awful! I HATE white walls!!

Hmm. J did a good job! Whaddya know! Our room really looks like.... a room! Nice!


xoxo

Sleeping Beauty

november 27, 08 thursday
7.08pm

What a beautiful sight!

That's Raisa. Russian Blue. 16 years old. Female. Smart. Graceful. Loyal. We adopted her when she was only 3 months old. She is the first cat in our family after a long time, and has since outlived almost all of the other cats we had. The fat male cat, Mok is her great great grandson, and yet they can't get along. Well, the truth is, Raisa is terrified of Mok, and Mok just wants to play. Being too old for childish games, Mok gets hissed at, or worse, slapped!! tsk tsk!!

During her younger days, Raisa has mysteriously disappeared for a week, twice, and up until now, we still have no idea where she went. But she's managed to find her way back home. Unbelievable! I think Raisa thinks she's a dog!!

She's fiercely loyal to my brother, Jen, and knows who loves her (a.k.a feeds her). I am always greeted at the door by this graceful lady. And she waits up for brother Jen to come back home.

At 16 years old (human years), she's still as graceful, polite and obsessively clean. She can spend hours grooming herself!

This lady sure ages gracefully.

So when I grow up (*ahem! old*), I want to be just like Raisa!!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

november 20, 08 thursday
9.44am

That was the exact question when I looked in the mirror these past few days! Ever since my facial session with my long-time facialist, Faza, a week ago, my skin has been acting up. I hate to think that Faza's amazing facial kills are not so amazing for my skin anymore. I've been trusting my face to her for 7 years now, and have never had a problem.

But I did slap on my new BB Cream from Etude House I bought recently. My skin went amok after that. I'm trying to console myself: maybe it's the BB Cream, because as much as I want to jump in onto the rave on BB Creams, maybe it's not for my skin. So after the third attempt at slathering on BB Cream in hopes of better skin, I am passing on the tube to Haidi, Adek's girlfriend. Maybe it'll work better for her since she's young.

This morning, my skin looks a little behaved. The big red zit on my left cheek has subsided, the small pimple-scar below the right side of my mouth has calmed down, and the other smaller pimples which were about to flare up, scattered above my lips and on my nose seem to have shrunk. Thank God!! My skin looks a little smoother today. All thanks to mum's aloevera gel and that marvelous calamine lotion!!

So I'm hoping for better skin tomorrow. Or else I won't be able to face the mirror tomorrow!!

Fingers crossed!!

Smile!!

november 19, 08 wednesday
9.02am
Some people have commented, ever since I left radio, my face is calmer, my demeanor is calmer and I seemed to smile more!!

I was aware I hardly ever smiled at work, because my ex-colleagues told me. I always looked pissed off. That was why I was never really popular at work, or deemed friendly by my ex-colleagues. I don't know why. That place never made me happy. The people never made me happy. I didn't find any reason to smile I guess.

But these days, my life is a little less stressful, and I don't have to deal with primadonna morons anymore. So I think that's a reason to smile. I'm still quite the ice queen, mind you, but the 'ice' has slowly melted.


I also found a whole new reaction when I do smile - people are more receptive towards you! The world seemed a friendlier place. OK, I know that's so cliche, but it's true! Take it from someone who hardly ever smiled!!

So smile! It doesn't cost a cent!!

*The chesire cat - one my favourite cartoon characters. Love his smile (grin?)!*

Gurl Pow-wow

november 18, 08 tuesday
3.42pm

There's a reason why I don't have very many friends, particularly female friends. We tend to back-stab each other, and the politics among women take a whole new meaning. I've had a learning experience when it comes to having close female friends...when there's more than 3 in the group you confide in, there's bound to be trouble.

It's no secret having close female friends whom you get to see every weekend, is a joy. The bond shared between women can never be compared with. We understand the challenges women go through, at work, with husbands/boyfriends, with kids, with the in-laws, etc. There's nothing like having a gaggle of girls who really understand and sympathise with what your going through. A little different than the boys...They just go, "Relax bro! Come, have a beer!" Where else with women, you get the undying emotional support you fail to get from the guys.

I've been in that situation too, where I thought this couldn't be any more perfect...I have lots of girlfriends, and I'm never short of love and support. Who needs men when you have your gurls?? During my difficult years, I admit my girlfriends were my strength. Hanging out with them made my life a little bearable and the challenges in my life at the time a little easier. As the years passed, other men entered the picture as boyfriends....and that was when the "all-girl pow-wow" slowly turned sour. Especially when your not too keen on the guy your girlfriend is dating. Or when she keeps bringing him along to the pow wows. You're thinking, him again. Doesn't he have his own friends?? All of a sudden there's all you girls...and one guy. And there goes the fun. When you tell your girlfriend, she either sulks or decides not to bring him the next time. Eventually, she stops hanging out with you girls too.

What's worse, is when you start bitching about your other girlfriend(s). Women are worst at keeping secrets. We must tell. The stories will come out, and the back stabbing/politics begin...she says you, you say her. And you stop hanging out together. What started out as a close network of girls having a good time, ended up turning into a group of girls who loathe each other. This is why most women have little friends. Unlike guys who can hate each other but still go out for drinks together. They're not emotional creatures, and don't take anything to heart. Unlike us women, we bruise easily.

I was having lunch with my long-time friend Ain today. She's one of my very few girlfriends I can trust and depend on, and she is fiercely loyal to our friendship, which I truly appreciate. She's recently re-connected with a bunch of girls from school (whom I know too) and they have developed a strong friendship over a few months, sharing even their deepest secrets with each other and getting unconditional support. Two of the girls popped by, and as they yakked and laughed away, I couldn't help thinking how long this new found closeness is going to last. They have repeatedly invited me to join them for lunches/dinners/holidays etc. I keep coming up with excuses mainly because I have never been comfortable around new people. It takes me a while to warm up. I am reluctant to be a part of this group, because somehow, deep inside I know how this is all going to end. I don't want to be part of that anymore. Though I love to see women like them together, I have lost faith that they will be close friends forever. Family will get in the way. Or work will take you away. Or the internal politics I see in so many female circles, will destroy the friendship. And soon, you drift away, and eventually become strangers.

I am happy they have found each other. But I am also happy to have lunch/dinner/coffee with just one or two girlfriends, at a time.

Women can be your best friends...but they also can be your worst enemy. I sincerely hope these bunch of girls prove me wrong, and be best friends forever.
*smirk*

xoxo

War wounds. NOT!

november 15, 08 saturday
It's a wonder how I constantly attract mosquitoes. Old Malay folks say it's because I have "sweet blood". Whatever. I looked it up - it's either because of your natural scent or some scent your wearing. Usually, at home, I go au natural. So it must be my natural scent.

It's annoying. And I have the tendency to scratch and scratch.... and before you know it, I've ripped out the top layer(s) of my skin. And what do you have?? Little scabs on my legs the next morning!! Gone were the days when I had smooth sexy legs. I have only pictures now to serve my memory of what gorgeous legs I had. Sure, they were not long, but damn! They were tanned and flawless!!

These days, my legs look like I've gone to war and come back!! They're so ugly!! I remember when I had to do a promo shoot for the radio station, I had to wear a short-ish coat. My legs were bare. And my co-host pointed out I should wear stockings or put body make-up on to camouflage my scars!

Tonight, I did it again - scratched like there's no tomorrow. Husband J is right here with me, and I don't see him being bitten by the nasty mossies. I do! It's unfair!! And I have once again added another "war wound" on my legs!

How do I instill fear in these mossies?? (I sure know how to do that with kids...)

Or how do I "unsweetened" my blood??

Mercyyyyyyyy!!!!!

november 3, 08 monday
Oii!

Have mercy on me!!

Today was my first day back at the gym. This time, I am at a new gym, so Trainer Ela helped me out with registration, which was virtually no fuss, and paid Ela in full amount for 12-sessions training this month. Had to update his paperwork as well, since I did undergo surgery.

So I was as gung-ho as ever. He took my measurements - I didn't 'expand' too much, took my weight....whoa! That's all?? I know I've put on weight, so I must've have been skinnier a month ago. Eew. This is the skinniest I've been, and I know it's because I've lost all my muscle mass. Sigh. My body fat percentage is normal. Hummmpphh. I wished I could see some positive changes in that! I did my flexibility test - struggled! That was kinda hard. And painful!! I am so stiff!!

And then Ela put me on the bike. Level 2, by the 7th minute I was huffing and puffing. By the 15th, I wanted to drop and die. This is torture! Ela had to drop to level 1!! I was determined to complete the 20 minutes. And so I peddled and peddled, and huffed, and was sweating...

My mouth felt dry. Need water... need water...Oii!! Help!!

How did I do this 2 months ago?? Ah yes....I was fit as a fiddle!! By the time the timer hit 20 minutes, I was ready to drop on the floor!! I can't believe how unfit the 2 months of recuperating has made me!! What's worse, I had to peddle for another 2 more minutes, on level 1, to cool down. That was like a total of 22 minutes on the bike!!!! Oiii!!

The whole session took about an hour, stretched myself and my legs felt like they've been pulled in many directions!! I got home, and on the bed I stayed! I am so tired!!

My next session is on Wednesday, and that's when we start the programme. I am appalled at my fitness level. So I hope it won't take too long for Ela to whip me back in shape.

For today, I am just going to chill...and hope that I won't get up with aches and pains tomorrow.

Dang! I feel like I just ran a marathon!!

Ready, Set...

november 2, 08 sunday
It's been over 2 months since my surgery, and honestly, the recuperating period has seized almost all activities that kept me busy. Now, I'm back into most of them again, and tomorrow, I'm starting my first session again at the gym with Trainer Ela.

I. Can't. Wait.

In my 4 years of gym-going, this is the longest break I've taken. I've shrunk. Put on fat around my belly (where else!) and have gotten back my 'chicken wings'.

sigh

Tomorrow is also my first day at the new gym. Sister Maz is quite happy with the machines and such. Anything is better than Clark Hatch Hilton PJ, I suppose. So I am looking forward to tomorrow's session, although Ela is just going to do an assessment and show me the machines. Will take less than a hour.

I'm happy to be back.

I feel like a pot-bellied pig.

Any longer, I'll look like a pot-bellied pig!!

sigh

I want my toned body back!!