Saturday, August 30, 2008

Homely Puss

august 30, 08 saturday
Day 5 post surgery:

I am bored as hell. All I've ever done since I came home from the hospital was....STAY HOME!! The most "outdoorsy" thing I've done so far is cleaning up the litter boxes and filling them up again. Geez! What a life!! I can't stand too long. Walk too fast or too far (like I have somewhere far to go in the house!), can't climb stairs, hard to get up after sitting down especially for a long time. I feel like an old OLD woman.

The swelling has improved a bit, but it still stings like hell if I exert myself, even a tiny bit. It's pathetic. I feel really helpless and hopeless. And I miss driving. I miss getting out of the house and getting stuck in traffic (!!!). I keep thinking "oh, need to go to the pharmacy to check this item out" and then realise I'm house-bound. It's hardly been a week, how am I going to last for a month?!! And I am slowly obsessing about my weight! I know my main priority is to heal and by that it means EAT, but I can't help myself...especially when I have a unforgiving, weight-obsessed good friend. BAH! My tummy looks horrible...from the outside. It looks bloated and swollen (probably because it is swollen!) and I haven't done the "do-do" in like 2 days! Or maybe 3! Funny thing is, I can't even suck my gut in. It'll hurt. So right now, I look like a frumpy pot-bellied housewife, in kaftans!

Can't sneeze, it'll hurt. Can't cough, it'll hurt. Can't laugh too hard, it'll hurt. Feels like the-cut-will-rip-open kinda hurt. And all that make you want to whinge and whine like an Aussie. Oops! Sorry! I mean like an old lady!!

Sigh. Healing from surgery sucks. Big time.

I wish the month would speed up. I need to get out!!

p.s: Happy 51st Merdeka to Malaysians. Tad bit quiet this year, eh??

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

All Cut Up

august 27, 08 wednesday
I've been seeing my trusted OB/GYN Dr Hamid for a while now in hopes to start a family with husband J. I am one of the 'lucky' women finding getting pregnant a challenging task. I've always known that pregnancy can never come easy with me, and I was almost certain that I will never be a mother. But these days, there are tonnes of options so I thought I shouldn't completely close off the idea of having my own kids. Plus, who wouldn't want children with a tall handsome husband like J??

My periods have never been regular, except for the 3 years I was on the Pill while at college. So from way back then, I knew I was infertile. My first visit to Dr Hamid some 10 years ago found me with acute PCOS with a retroverted (tilted) uterus. He couldn't find my left ovary because it was covered in cysts. I never went back to him for a follow up because I really wasn't interested to improve my fertility. 10 years later, I went back and found zero cysts (thanks to the gym!) but with the same retroverted uterus. This time, closing in on 40, I've decided to take my fertility a little serious. I told the good doctor I want to correct my uterus before I embark on another costly fertility treatment. At least if I still can't conceive after the surgery, then I know being a mother is not meant to be.

I booked a date close to when my period was due. In fact I was so sure I was going to menstruate after the surgery. But the week leading to the surgery date, I started getting nagging abdominal cramps and I panicked that I'd be getting my period when I'm on the operating table. I even had one sleepless night worrying about it!! (The surgery can't take place if you're menstruating).

After driving J up the wall with my paranoia, and with a lot of prayers, I admitted myself to Pantai Medical Centre Bangsar and prepared myself for the mini surgery. I've read up enough about the procedure that I could probably do it myself!! It'll be a 45 minute surgery, with one hour prior, to put me on general anesthetic.

Come Monday morning, the nurse instructed me to put on my surgical cap and gown and I was whisked away to the operating room. My heart was pounding but I was happy to have this finally done. I am finally taking charge of my fertility!! After waiting for what seemed like an eternity in the surgical waiting room, I was finally wheeled in and moved to the operating table. Up above me were big spotlights all shiny and clean staring down at me. Hmmm...this looks just like on TV! The anesthetician told me he was going to put me under GA and I remember as I was about to shut my eyes, I told myself "here we go!" and went to black.

When I woke up, I felt a stinging pain at the abdominal area, but I was so drugged up I went back to sleep. I woke up again when I heard someone calling my name, and the anesthetician was asking me if i wanted a jab of pain killers. I nodded, they jabbed me, and I went to sleep. I woke up again when I felt like my period was coming out and panicked that the bed was going to be soaked with blood. I reached down and to my relief felt a big fat pad wedged between my legs. Phew!

I was wheeled back in after what seemed like forever at the recovering bay, and was happy to see husband J and Dad. But I was too drugged up to carry a conversation. The first day was hard getting up to go to the bathroom, and I wanted to pee a lot that day. It was still painful to move and pretty much stayed in the same position the entire time. Best friend Liza and sister Maz came by to visit, and later on Dad, but I was too groggy to talk, and so I slept all day.

The second day Maz came in the morning to wash me. Yes, I have a wonderful sister, and for all the challenges in my life, I am still very lucky. The pain subsided a bit and I was able to walk to the bathroom myself. I felt better too. Dr Hamid came by in the morning to give me a brief rundown on the 'work' he'd done. He fixed my uterus (yay!), fixed my tubes, lasered my ovaries, small cysts, and a bit of endo, and fibroids. FIBROIDS?? I didn't know I had fibroids!! It didn't show up in the scan and x-ray I did earlier this year. He gave me the specimen in a bottle and they looked like teeth. They were benign and probably popped out only recently. Funny though, all period symptoms I had were gone, and still no period! Could the operation alter my cycle?? Mom dropped by as she only found out of my operation after coming back from her trip to Russia. We didn't want to tell her as she'll worry and spoil her holiday.

By day 3, I was cleaning myself without any help. The nurse took off the bandage to expose the wound and told me I could go home. I only received the discharge slip 6 hours later. My whole body ached from lying down too much and so I was eager to go home so I could do more walking. Plus I miss the kitties, and having my J sleeping beside me (auwwwwww!).

My left side of the wound is still swollen and it hurts when I put a little pressure on it. I still have to walk very slowly but at least now I can move around. And I know tomorrow will be better.

For now, I hope for a speedy recovery so I can go back to my normal routine as soon as possible! Most importantly, I hope I get my period... soon.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


august 16, 08 saturday
There's nothing more that screams "OLD!" than meeting with cousins you used to carry around when they were a toddler. It's as if someone pushed the fast-forward button and you missed the good bits because you were too self involved with your own life.

Let me explain first that I have lousy family values. I don't think my extended family is important at all so I never bothered with my cousins, uncles and aunties. I am even more estranged from my dad's side of the family. It has always been extremely awkward when there are family meetings with my dad and his family. I stick out like a sore thumb. The age gap is so far apart. I am the eldest on my dad's side, and with my on-air job, I know my younger cousins all know who I am.

I was at a wedding today. One of the younger cousins got married and so off I went with sister and husband J. As usual, we were the only relations not on the floor helping out ushering guests, we were the guests!! As we arrived at the entrance of the venue, I shook hands with my uncles and aunties, and with the cousins. They all bowed as they took my hand, and one attempted to kiss my hand!! Whoa! Yes, OK. I know, it's a polite gesture, required almost, especially to your eldest. But I was a bit appalled. I used to do that!! And now they're doing that to me!! Oh! Noooooo......

As usual, I was oblivious to who's who. They all looked like strangers to me. But then there was one guy I gawked at. Tall, fair, young, very handsome. I was gobsmacked! He was the one who tried to kiss my hand. Hmm...I didn't give a second thought, maybe he's from the other side of the family. I really had no idea who he was, but he was so darn cute!!

As we took our place at the table and gobbled the nasi minyak (its was good, by the way!), sister asked if I saw my youngest aunt's only son. Oh yes, him, the little one. I said 'no' and she pointed out to the "tall, fair, young, very handsome" guy I gawked at for a moment at the entrance. Yes, the one who attempted to kiss my hand. That one?? Your kidding!! That's my cousin?? The little Chinese-looking kid I used to carry around??


I felt old.

My Gawd has he grown!!

Again. I feel old.

The whole way home, I was in denial. He can't be that boy!! Impossible!! I told sister, I doubt he knows who I am, but she is convinced he does. After all, I am the eldest. Everybody knows the elsdest.

Gosh! I was in awe! He's all grown. Done with college. Working. He's a man!! He's hawt!

And he was my (little) cousin!! Whoa!!

I'm old.


Monday, August 11, 2008

Gym Blues

august 11, 08 monday
I've been training with trainer Ela at Clark Hatch at the Hilton PJ for almost 3 years now, and for a good couple of years, I had no issues. It was pretty much training and go back. I didn't even socialise that much, except for an odd "hello's" here and there. For a little while, that gym felt like my second home. The staff were friendly and they know you by name. A far cry from the very impersonal Celebrity Fitness gym I went to before.

Then they went 24 hours, and it went downhill. The gym was never in order. There were mosquitoes attacking you when you train in the morning. It was dusty that when I had to lie on the floor, I'd sneeze and my eye would itch badly. Of course, there were barbells and weights all over the floor for you to trip over. It was a mess. And complaints about the condition to the centre manager only went to deaf ears. The Clark Hatch management was also discriminating towards freelance trainers. In the end, Ela and his clients have to dish out an extra RM100 a month to keep their mouths shut. I didn't really mind, as all I wanted was to train in peace. But for an extra RM100, I would expect better facilities and service.

Ela has been getting a lot of heartache from the in-house trainers as well. Jealousy. Spite. You name it. It has become increasingly difficult for any of us to train in peace. I don't know what the issue is really. We've mind our own business. Ela has not stolen any of their clients. We've been polite and cooperative. It's starting to feel like a detention camp and our patience has grown thin. So lately, Ela's been looking around for another gym to re-locate.

Today at training, Ela told me of his plans to move us out of Clark Hatch PJ. He's found a nice gym nearby, spacious, with good equipments and plenty of space to stretch. According to Ela, they have a stretching room!! Finding space to do your stretching at Clark Hatch PJ is a luxury so knowing that this other gym has a specific room for it is a delight!!

I don't want to jinx this so I won't indulge more. Let's wait till we all re-locate then I can spill the beans!!

All we want to do is train in peace, and not be involved or hear about the politics among the gym staff. And be treated with respect as members.. we're not even getting that. It's a real shame. I liked Clark Hatch. But they really should start going back to basics on what the gym was built on - great customer service. Something other bigger gyms seriously lack. Clark Hatch PJ was ideal for those who despise mega gyms (like I do!) and want to train in private. But now, with the run-down equipments, small space and bad service, I'm afraid Clark Hatch PJ has lost its sparkle. The sad part is? It doesn't look like it's going to improve.

Good riddance, Clark Hatch PJ!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Is KL so 'ulu'?

august 10, 08 sunday
I am still in my 'make-up craze' phase, whereby everyday I Google something about make-up trends, favourite celebrity products and You Tubing make-up tutorials.

I've been obsessed with drugstore brands lately, and I am kicking myself now for not spending time at Priceline or go to Kmart/Target and browse through their range of make-up while I was in Sydney. As always, when your out with the husband, its always rush rush rush. I never get to take my own time to do my own thing, which is essentially stare at the make-up display and playing with the colours.

So anyway. I'm so into NYX Cosmetics lately. Here's the clincher: IT'S NOT AVAILABLE IN MALAYSIA! I went on to their website and NYX is available in the Middle East, West Africa, Japan, Singapore (but of course!), Thailand and Indonesia! Apparently, it is huge in Jakarta, like the #1 cosmetics there! What? They didn't know KL existed? It's not an important enough market for a drugstore brand? Is it not upmarket enough for a drugstore brand like NYX?? Grrrrrr! And I have to put up with nonsense like Korean and Japanese brands!! Grrrrrr!

NYX is so cheap, it sells for less than USD10 in the US. I'm lusting over their jumbo eye pencils and lip glosses and their brushes. And their eye shadows are as good if not better than MAC. We don't even get cheapies like Rimmel!! Or Cover Girl (they pulled out 10 years ago!). And the international brands here sell crap!! Limited colours, limited products, limited choices!!

I can understand Singapore getting the upper-hand in everything-they are 5 years ahead- but really, Bangkok? Jakarta??

Yes, KL is a smaller market, but c'mon! We're not that ulu, are we??!?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Mac is back in business!!

august 7, 08 thursday
I was brooding for awhile when my hand-me-down Mac iBook could not charge. Battery was low, and I could not do anything. It was frustrating, to say the very least. Husband J had shell out RM300 for a brand new hard drive so when we couldn't get the charger working, I concluded I just have no luck when it comes to Apple products (read my struggles with my iPod Shuffle in previous entries).

We brought the iBook to the Mac store (name escapes me at this moment) at Bangsar Village II. Their diagnosis was the motherboard and it would cost us RM3000 to have it replaced! J said 'no' and brought back the ailing iBook. I shoved it in my cupboard, hoping that maybe one day, we can come up with some brilliant idea that will not cost us RM3000. Obviously, nothing happened, and in the cupboard the iBook stayed.

Until last night.

Look, I love this iBook. It's sleeker and smaller than my big fat HP (although my HP is more reliable). I so want to fix the iBook, but not at RM3000! I might as well use that money for an eeePC or a mini HP. So, I told myself, I can shell out no more than RM500 to fix the iBook, so I decided to go for a second opinion with the real Mac experts at Machines, where J bought this iBook from. Hopefully, their diagnosis will not cost us (me) RM3000. *fingers crossed*

Today, I went off to the Machines store at The Gardens, opposite MidValley. Told the technician what was wrong, and after trying out other adapters on my iBook, he concluded the fuse in the plug head has died. He changed the tiny gadget and voila! It's charging again!! I was so happy!! And it only cost me RM5!! Yessssss!!!!! I can't believe those b@$tarD$ at the Mac shop at Bangsar Village II wanted to charge me RM3000!!!

I went home happily eager to power up my iBook. Only it didn't power up!! WTF?!? I was livid!! This is so typical!! What did I tell you about my sh!tty a$s luck with Apple products??!? The four lights at the bottom near the battery wasn't even blinking, and when I pushed the button near the battery, only the top light was flickering, all of 10 seconds.

Now, what would J do?? Ah, yes. Get on the 'net. So I switched on my trusty ol' HP, Googled the problem, and taa daa!! I may have the answer. Let's try this...

Take the battery out...

Plug in the adapter, power iBook up...

And it worked!!

Placed the battery back into its socket, and while I happily surfed the 'net, the battery was charging nicely. Well, whaddya know..