Gurl Pow-wow

november 18, 08 tuesday
3.42pm

There's a reason why I don't have very many friends, particularly female friends. We tend to back-stab each other, and the politics among women take a whole new meaning. I've had a learning experience when it comes to having close female friends...when there's more than 3 in the group you confide in, there's bound to be trouble.

It's no secret having close female friends whom you get to see every weekend, is a joy. The bond shared between women can never be compared with. We understand the challenges women go through, at work, with husbands/boyfriends, with kids, with the in-laws, etc. There's nothing like having a gaggle of girls who really understand and sympathise with what your going through. A little different than the boys...They just go, "Relax bro! Come, have a beer!" Where else with women, you get the undying emotional support you fail to get from the guys.

I've been in that situation too, where I thought this couldn't be any more perfect...I have lots of girlfriends, and I'm never short of love and support. Who needs men when you have your gurls?? During my difficult years, I admit my girlfriends were my strength. Hanging out with them made my life a little bearable and the challenges in my life at the time a little easier. As the years passed, other men entered the picture as boyfriends....and that was when the "all-girl pow-wow" slowly turned sour. Especially when your not too keen on the guy your girlfriend is dating. Or when she keeps bringing him along to the pow wows. You're thinking, him again. Doesn't he have his own friends?? All of a sudden there's all you girls...and one guy. And there goes the fun. When you tell your girlfriend, she either sulks or decides not to bring him the next time. Eventually, she stops hanging out with you girls too.

What's worse, is when you start bitching about your other girlfriend(s). Women are worst at keeping secrets. We must tell. The stories will come out, and the back stabbing/politics begin...she says you, you say her. And you stop hanging out together. What started out as a close network of girls having a good time, ended up turning into a group of girls who loathe each other. This is why most women have little friends. Unlike guys who can hate each other but still go out for drinks together. They're not emotional creatures, and don't take anything to heart. Unlike us women, we bruise easily.

I was having lunch with my long-time friend Ain today. She's one of my very few girlfriends I can trust and depend on, and she is fiercely loyal to our friendship, which I truly appreciate. She's recently re-connected with a bunch of girls from school (whom I know too) and they have developed a strong friendship over a few months, sharing even their deepest secrets with each other and getting unconditional support. Two of the girls popped by, and as they yakked and laughed away, I couldn't help thinking how long this new found closeness is going to last. They have repeatedly invited me to join them for lunches/dinners/holidays etc. I keep coming up with excuses mainly because I have never been comfortable around new people. It takes me a while to warm up. I am reluctant to be a part of this group, because somehow, deep inside I know how this is all going to end. I don't want to be part of that anymore. Though I love to see women like them together, I have lost faith that they will be close friends forever. Family will get in the way. Or work will take you away. Or the internal politics I see in so many female circles, will destroy the friendship. And soon, you drift away, and eventually become strangers.

I am happy they have found each other. But I am also happy to have lunch/dinner/coffee with just one or two girlfriends, at a time.

Women can be your best friends...but they also can be your worst enemy. I sincerely hope these bunch of girls prove me wrong, and be best friends forever.
*smirk*

xoxo

War wounds. NOT!

november 15, 08 saturday
It's a wonder how I constantly attract mosquitoes. Old Malay folks say it's because I have "sweet blood". Whatever. I looked it up - it's either because of your natural scent or some scent your wearing. Usually, at home, I go au natural. So it must be my natural scent.

It's annoying. And I have the tendency to scratch and scratch.... and before you know it, I've ripped out the top layer(s) of my skin. And what do you have?? Little scabs on my legs the next morning!! Gone were the days when I had smooth sexy legs. I have only pictures now to serve my memory of what gorgeous legs I had. Sure, they were not long, but damn! They were tanned and flawless!!

These days, my legs look like I've gone to war and come back!! They're so ugly!! I remember when I had to do a promo shoot for the radio station, I had to wear a short-ish coat. My legs were bare. And my co-host pointed out I should wear stockings or put body make-up on to camouflage my scars!

Tonight, I did it again - scratched like there's no tomorrow. Husband J is right here with me, and I don't see him being bitten by the nasty mossies. I do! It's unfair!! And I have once again added another "war wound" on my legs!

How do I instill fear in these mossies?? (I sure know how to do that with kids...)

Or how do I "unsweetened" my blood??

Mercyyyyyyyy!!!!!

november 3, 08 monday
Oii!

Have mercy on me!!

Today was my first day back at the gym. This time, I am at a new gym, so Trainer Ela helped me out with registration, which was virtually no fuss, and paid Ela in full amount for 12-sessions training this month. Had to update his paperwork as well, since I did undergo surgery.

So I was as gung-ho as ever. He took my measurements - I didn't 'expand' too much, took my weight....whoa! That's all?? I know I've put on weight, so I must've have been skinnier a month ago. Eew. This is the skinniest I've been, and I know it's because I've lost all my muscle mass. Sigh. My body fat percentage is normal. Hummmpphh. I wished I could see some positive changes in that! I did my flexibility test - struggled! That was kinda hard. And painful!! I am so stiff!!

And then Ela put me on the bike. Level 2, by the 7th minute I was huffing and puffing. By the 15th, I wanted to drop and die. This is torture! Ela had to drop to level 1!! I was determined to complete the 20 minutes. And so I peddled and peddled, and huffed, and was sweating...

My mouth felt dry. Need water... need water...Oii!! Help!!

How did I do this 2 months ago?? Ah yes....I was fit as a fiddle!! By the time the timer hit 20 minutes, I was ready to drop on the floor!! I can't believe how unfit the 2 months of recuperating has made me!! What's worse, I had to peddle for another 2 more minutes, on level 1, to cool down. That was like a total of 22 minutes on the bike!!!! Oiii!!

The whole session took about an hour, stretched myself and my legs felt like they've been pulled in many directions!! I got home, and on the bed I stayed! I am so tired!!

My next session is on Wednesday, and that's when we start the programme. I am appalled at my fitness level. So I hope it won't take too long for Ela to whip me back in shape.

For today, I am just going to chill...and hope that I won't get up with aches and pains tomorrow.

Dang! I feel like I just ran a marathon!!

Ready, Set...

november 2, 08 sunday
It's been over 2 months since my surgery, and honestly, the recuperating period has seized almost all activities that kept me busy. Now, I'm back into most of them again, and tomorrow, I'm starting my first session again at the gym with Trainer Ela.

I. Can't. Wait.

In my 4 years of gym-going, this is the longest break I've taken. I've shrunk. Put on fat around my belly (where else!) and have gotten back my 'chicken wings'.

sigh

Tomorrow is also my first day at the new gym. Sister Maz is quite happy with the machines and such. Anything is better than Clark Hatch Hilton PJ, I suppose. So I am looking forward to tomorrow's session, although Ela is just going to do an assessment and show me the machines. Will take less than a hour.

I'm happy to be back.

I feel like a pot-bellied pig.

Any longer, I'll look like a pot-bellied pig!!

sigh

I want my toned body back!!

This is how you do it..

october 31, 08 friday
If there's power struggle at home or at work, and you want to be the one on top, body language is very important!

Check out the crossed position of Mok's hands....

Now you know who wears the pants in my family...

Introducing: My beauty corner!!

october 30, 08 thursday
I was a busy busy bee today. I scrubbed and organised my way to creating my own "beauty space"!! Here's what I'm talking about..

Taa-daa!!

I have been thinking about having a space for me to do my makeup because, honestly, fighting with husband J for the wall mirror when we both need to get ready, is not funny.

Then there's this abandoned computer table at the corner of the room, rotting/collecting dust/eating space, and acts as a dumping ground for papers, keys, unused sun glasses and handbag, the gym bag, computer bags, software CDs, husband J's printer/scanner, etc. etc. etc.

So this morning, the light bulb "switched on".

And so I spent my morning wiping off the 10-inches-or-so of dust on the floor, on and behind the table, vacuumed (the entire room - why not) and moped the entire floor with Dettol. Threw away a bunch of stuff that should've been trashed years ago, and rearranged my plastic drawers filled with my makeup stuff.

I'm so happy I get to put that computer table to good use!! And the room smells so fresh and clean!!

As you can see, tonnes of space left on the table...can buy more plastic drawers ( = more makeup)!!!

I'm a freakin' genius!!

xoxo

DEEEEE!!!!

october 29, 08 wednesday
I was going through some old college notes one day. I was impressed with some of my work!! It was obvious which classes I liked and which classes I disliked. That put a smile on my face as I jogged down memory lane. I regretted I didn't keep all my class notes for the 4 years I was in the US. But among the pile of papers, I found a piece of note with a hand-written poem, unsigned.

I instantly knew who it was from, despite it being unsigned. And I remember when it was given to me.

I was friends with this guy called Dennis. I used to call him "Dee", just for fun. Dee obviously had a thing for me because he was constantly trying to be around me. And he looked like he enjoyed my teasing him. Dee was also intrigued at the way I danced. I was a little exhibitionist at the time, loved showing off on the dance floor. I thought I was a fantastic dancer, but God knows what the other folks thought!! But I didn't care!! We became fast friends and soon enough Dee looked like he was smitten. At college, I was quite popular. Especially with the boys. I had them practically eating out of my hands. My college years were predominantly about boys, boys and more boys! I had more male friends than I did female friends, I knew I was cute and I worked it, and enjoyed the attention. And Dee was giving me a lot of attention!!

But I wasn't interested, not so much at least. But I failed to tell Dee that. So I lead the poor boy on. I think he knew there could never be anything more with me, so he wrote me a poem. I remember reading it and thanked him, and stuffing it in one of the files.

After a while, Dee became a tad bit frustrated when he constantly saw me on campus with a guy. I was always with some guy. Walking, talking, having lunch. That was me at college. It bothered him. And he made it clear to me. That was a turning point...because I remember feeling a little suffocated. So I did what I use to do best back then - avoid the poor boy...like the plague! I came back to KL for summer hols, went back to Wichita and didn't call him. When Dee found out, he was livid. I was indifferent. (I was already interested in someone else).

So that was pretty much the end of Dee in my young college life.

Today, when I read the poem, I felt so much guilt for being such a... b!tch. His only mistake then was to fall in love with me. I felt bad. I wish I knew better back then how to treat people. The poem was sad, and many years on, I finally understood what he was trying to tell me. He was heartbroken. He was in pain, because he could never have me. I didn't see it then.

I thought I should search him, and I thought if I can't find him on FB, then I've lost him. Lo and behold!! Dee's on FB. I shot him a message. He wrote back. We chatted. It was good. He was as excited as I was that we reconnected.

He's in LA now as a microbiologist, has a 10 year-old daughter and has a gorgeous lady. I'm so happy he's doing well. And I'm so happy to be back in touch with him.

I don't have many regrets in my life, but if I could turn back time, I would have been a bit more honest and not hurt him the way I did. We can only learn from our past mistakes. And hope not to repeat them in the future.

xoxo

The true meaning of unconditional love..

october 28, 08 tuesday

If only all men really understand what love is...

El Hub is 35!!

october 27, 08 monday
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HUSBAND J!!

All of 35 and looking hotter than ever!! Purrrr......

This year, I had grand plans of re-doing J's closet. But a conversation with friend Ain made me change my mind. She said, "Make him feel like a man, buy a drill!", and so I did. I wanted to get him a fancy-shmanchy one with 1001 bolts and attachments, and that comes with its own carrier, but the ones I saw were waaay over my budget, so I grabbed the one below. I had it wrapped up and all, which got him all excited when I gave him the Box of Mystery.



J was so delighted to find out it was a drill and I was so happy that he liked it!


My plans continued with dinner, of course. I wanted to do the whole candlelight dinner with flowers, but today is Deepavali, and so the flower vendors near my house would be close for the celebration.

I decided to make Baked Macaroni with Eggplant, which I took from a pasta cookbook sister Maz recommended not too long ago. I was excited!! There were a lot of ingredients though. More than what I'm used to.

I ended up not preparing enough eggplants, but still, it turned out fantastic! J loved it, Mom loved it, little brother liked it, and I thought it was pretty good!! YAY!! I added some cili api for husband J ;)

For desert, we had cheesecake. J is known not to like deserts very much, so this was a bit tricky. But he loves his cheese and so I ordered a cheesecake from Latest Recipe at LeMeridien KL. It cost a bomb (for a medium-sized cheesecake!!), but it tastes heavenly!! The best so far!!

J received a few birthday phone calls from home which made him very very happy. And he said this was a good day for him. Auwwww......

Oh. And he also put his new toy to good use - he fixed the bathroom door at the back of the house!!

Mom gave him 2 long kain sarong she got from her trip to Kelantan, and that made J happy. He's always wanted a collection of sarongs. And now he has...4!!

Happy birthday Babe!!

XOXO

While you were sleeping...

october 26, 08 sunday
WHOA..

Yes, I know, it's been a month. Well, almost. I was determined to blog more than last month, seeing how the number of entries dwindled every month, but...


But look at this! What I've collected while I was "away"... tee hee

I've been lemming for some of these since forever, but now I own them!! Woo hoo!

NYX eyeshadows, eye jumbo pencils, blusher and lipglosses, Coastal Scents brushes, Neutrogena lipglosses, L'oreal HIP shadow duos and cream liners, the famed CG Lash Blast, Maybelline Define-A-Lash, L'oreal Decrease, the must-have UDPP, Milani blusher in Luminous, Revlon Illuminance cream shadows and ELF stuff: lipglosses, blushes, bronzer, facial whip shimmers, brushes (the shadow brush rocks!!) and the ELF concealer, which is a nice surprise. Decent coverage and smells lovely!!

Not shown, Neutrogena Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover, which my poor father had to look for while he was in Honolulu. It wasn't hard, it's available at any drugtores in the US. But getting a man buying anything feminine is a frightening thought. So, thank you abah!!

And while I was busy salivating over the above stuff, looked what finally came to KL...

Shiseido's drugstore brand Majolica Majorca, Styli-Style and Rimmel (although we get the Japanese line).

Nothing beats touching and feeling the products, so having these brands here is a sheer delight!!

I'd like to see NYX, Milani and ELF here, seeing that they are already available in Singapore. I'd love CoverGirl to make a comeback, and of course, Loreal's HIP line, which is wishful thinking I guess.

But still. One can still hope...

Eid Mubarrak!

october 1, 08 wednesday
It's the first day of Eid and husband J and I just got back from PD. After spending the whole day visiting relatives.

Yes. I made Mummy happy. I followed her to Rembau and Melaka. J came along. Everyone was intrigued at his height. Sat around and listened to family gossip/politics. Met up with cousins I've not met in years. Had a lot to eat. Had too much too eat. OD'd on nasi impit, rendang and the like, and Mom's nasi briyani was a nice break from the same ol' same ol'.

Drove back watching a crazy bus driver trying to run my little brother off the road. That was scary.

And now we're home. Thank God the day is over!!

Will I do the same thing again next year??

Will I be around next year??

Eid on the horizon

september 27, 08 saturday
OH MY GOD! How I loathe this time of the year!! It so bloody boring!! For some reason, the whole forgiving/visiting thing during Eid is sooooooo cliche. I dread it every year. Apart from tradition, I do the whole sorry/visiting routine to shut my mom up, so I would not end up getting all pissed off and stressed up listening to her nag. The routine of visiting relatives....what the hell is that all about?? Mom keeps telling me, I'll need them in the future...Oh puh-lease!! We hardly meet, let alone talk. They are practically strangers to me. Maybe one, or two, but the rest.... *shrugs. don't care* Plus I have my family, they're all I need. Relatives, to me, are a waste of (my) time. Just keep in touch via FB, isn't that good enough??

El hub, J, told me something which struck a chord.."the way you treat your rallies is going to come back and bite you in the ass." (*bowing head down*) Yes, it's true. *sigh* I am being mean. And arrogant. And mean.

OK. Maybe this Eid, I'll do my tour of duty. Bring J to see rallies he hasn't met yet. I'm sure J would enjoy this.

But it still doesn't change the fact that I wish Eid would end quickly. It doesn't change the fact that I still find Eid boring!! Maybe when I have children, I'll break the tradition of celebrating Eid. Eh? Eh? Eh? OK, that didn't sound like a good idea. It sounded coming out from an arrogant moron. Seeeesh!!

*sigh*

*dragging feet*

(*Hence, the short, short blog*)

Fasting! A week before Eid...

september 23, 08 tuesday
Yeah, I've only just started fasting. Today is Day 2. And Eid is next Wednesday, which means I'll only be fasting for a little over a week. It's been OK, uneventful to be precise. I don't normally sahur, but so far, I've been doing OK. No tummy ache. No headaches. Just the usual. Not feeling all that tired either.

I've been cooking faithfully since Ramadhan started 3 weeks ago. I've done it all: roast beef, roast chicken, potato gratin, steaks, pasta etc. It's scary the way I keep chugging everyday in the kitchen!! I've only gone out to the bazaar less than 5 times I think. But today, I'm going to the small Thai Fair happening at Giant Mall. We've had the tomyam noodles from there and it blew our minds!! So, today's the day where we'll have tomyam noodles again....And maybe the mango salad, a bit of somtam maybe.....hmmmmm...eyes bigger than the stomach...

It's hours away to break...I'm already hungry... Time to go buy that beehoon tomyam!!

Yumm!

Week 4 Post Surgery

september 21, 08 tuesday
Met with Dr Hamid a few days ago for a follow-up after the surgery. I've been given the "all clear". My wound is healing nicely, in fact it looks like just one line on my lower abdomen. It's amazing!! Looks more like a scratch than a cut. I'm so glad that the cut sits so low, definitely won't be visible when I have my bikini on. The doc gave me more multi-vitamin pills, folic acid and 2 months supply of clomid. Ugh! I hate hate HATE clomid!! It dries me up. It makes me extra moody. And it makes me (feel like) I'm fat!! But this time the doc seems more positive, so I guess we'll give it a go. 2 alternate months isn't bad I suppose.

Speaking of bikinis, I haven't been putting on one for like forever! I bought one white pair (I've always wanted a white bikini) during the Zara sales some months ago, and have not had the chance to wear it. The last beach-bound holiday was during Chinese New Year in February in Phuket. A few nights ago, husband J announced his desire to visit Sri Lanka and showed me gorgeous pictures of a resort on a highland. Don't make sense wearing a bikini there!!

I'm thinking of fasting this week. Which gives me 10 days of fasting this year. I feel I've healed from the surgery and that fasting the last week of Ramadhan is not going to hurt me. I can't wait to get over Eid. I find it boring and never am excited about visiting relatives... If only I can push the fast forward button...

Week 2 Post surgery

september 6, 08 saturday
My week(s) post surgery have been uneventful. Although I would like to believe that I am recovering quickly, I still have to put up with the occasional strain on my left side of the wound and more recently, pain when I have a full bladder. I'm not sure the latter is the result of the surgery, but it has been quite uncomfortable when I need to go to the bathroom.

I've been able to walk around like normal, though I can't run or lift things. I can stand in the kitchen and cook a whole meal these days, it's not a problem anymore. It's just this sudden pain when I have a full bladder, and the pain comes in small spurts. I'll be sitting watching TV or surfing, and I'll feel an uncomfortable sensation between my legs. It's a bit annoying really. And I hope I've not contacted another infection whilst trying to recover from the surgery.

My left side of the wound in still slightly swollen. Actually there's a little lump and it's a bit tender and hard to the touch. If I twist my body too much, or strain the abs muscle a bit, it'll sting.

This Monday it'll be 2 weeks. It feels like forever. I've not left then house in 2 weeks, except for the rare trip to the ATM and driving around with husband J. All I do is surf. Thank God for wireless Internet access at home!!

It's coming towards the end of the first week of Ramadhan and for obvious reasons, I am not fasting this year. So for that reason I guess I'm not feeling the whole "Ramadhan spirit" at all. And I dare to say this: I'm not looking forward to Eid either. Maybe because I'm not fasting.

All I want is to get better so I can drive around!! I hate feeling so handicapped!! Arrgh!

Just a Google away!

september 3, 08 wednesday
Staying home recovering after a minor operation gives you plenty of time to....cyber stalk!! And that's exactly what I've been doing this week or so. And what better search engine to do in all from - Google! It's a amazing what stuff it brings you!! Just type the name and voila!!

When I was about 16 years old, when things at home weren't so peaceful, I used to write short stories to escape. Reading back some of the stories I wrote, they were a fascinating insight into my teenage world. I used to write in Malay a lot when I was younger, and would send my pieces to major teenage magazines. They were never good enough to be published I guess, but my effort got the attention of the magazines' editor. I was invited to attend the very competitive and prestigious 'Minggu Remaja' where about 20 under-18 budding writers were given intensive training on technical know-how on writing. That one week was priceless. I met so many talented young writers, established writers, and learned so many new things. I met one of the former participants and was completely taken by his presence. Faizal was 3 years older and at the time, was about to leave for Canada. We took one picture together and that was all it took to get this 16 year-old completely smitten. After the workshop, I only heard from him once. Many years later after I graduated and came home to my first job, I saw his name in a Malay daily as the reporting journalist. I wasn't too surprised, Faizal didn't stray away from the writing world too much! Last night I Googled his name and to my horror, there were blogs dedicated to him - Faizal passed away last year due to diabetic complications. My heart tanked. Life is just too short..

Another Google search was to my childhood memory, Zamani. He was one of the older guys who grew up in the neighbourhood and coloured my adolescent life. I've known Zamani for ages, but we only became really good friends when I was 15 years old. We'd call each other often and talked for ages about anything. At the time, he was the funniest guy I know. Even when we lived close by and were calling each other, we would write letters! And they were hilarious!! I was so fond of that man, I went all out and made him a birthday card on his birthday!! That became the talk among the other neighbourhood guys!! And on my 16th, he baked me a chocolate cake (he was a budding chef)! He broke my heart when he told me one day (after not calling me for yonks) that he was getting married. Granted, there was never anything romantic between us, but I was devastated. I thought he would always remained mine. For some odd reason, his name suddenly popped up in my head, and so I Googled. Got an on-line diary of his (new) wife trailing back to their engagement to their wedding, their pregnancy right up to their first born daughter. I was happy for him, as I knew he struggled through his first marriage. He's doing well, runs a restaurant down south...at least this Google search brought me happy news.

My third Google search/stalking was on Shane Dennis. OK, our paths never did cross, but I had a bit of a crush on this guy!! Shane was a baseball player for Wichita State. And he was in my class. To have a Shocker baseball player in the same class was a big deal! And he was kinda cute!! Though I remember him checking me out while I was walking on campus and he was on the buggy in full baseball uniform going to the baseball pitch. That was my only claim to fame where college jocks are concerned!! And that made my day!

According to Google, Shane moved on to play major league and then to Japan to play professionally.

Now he's back at WSU with the Baseball Operations office. No idea if he's married (I'm sure he is though). Saw a 1999 picture of him and made me smile.

*image courtesy of jamd.com

Boy! College was fun!!

What a way to pass time, eh?

Homely Puss

august 30, 08 saturday
Day 5 post surgery:
I am bored as hell. All I've ever done since I came home from the hospital was....STAY HOME!! The most "outdoorsy" thing I've done so far is cleaning up the litter boxes and filling them up again. Geez! What a life!! I can't stand too long. Walk too fast or too far (like I have somewhere far to go in the house!), can't climb stairs, hard to get up after sitting down especially for a long time. I feel like an old OLD woman.

The swelling has improved a bit, but it still stings like hell if I exert myself, even a tiny bit. It's pathetic. I feel really helpless and hopeless. And I miss driving. I miss getting out of the house and getting stuck in traffic (!!!). I keep thinking "oh, need to go to the pharmacy to check this item out" and then realise I'm house-bound. It's hardly been a week, how am I going to last for a month?!! And I am slowly obsessing about my weight! I know my main priority is to heal and by that it means EAT, but I can't help myself...especially when I have a unforgiving, weight-obsessed good friend. BAH! My tummy looks horrible...from the outside. It looks bloated and swollen (probably because it is swollen!) and I haven't done the "do-do" in like 2 days! Or maybe 3! Funny thing is, I can't even suck my gut in. It'll hurt. So right now, I look like a frumpy pot-bellied housewife, in kaftans!

Can't sneeze, it'll hurt. Can't cough, it'll hurt. Can't laugh too hard, it'll hurt. Feels like the-cut-will-rip-open kinda hurt. And all that make you want to whinge and whine like an Aussie. Oops! Sorry! I mean like an old lady!!

Sigh. Healing from surgery sucks. Big time.

I wish the month would speed up. I need to get out!!

p.s: Happy 51st Merdeka to Malaysians. Tad bit quiet this year, eh??

All Cut Up

august 27, 08 wednesday
I've been seeing my trusted OB/GYN Dr Hamid for a while now in hopes to start a family with husband J. I am one of the 'lucky' women finding getting pregnant a challenging task. I've always known that pregnancy can never come easy with me, and I was almost certain that I will never be a mother. But these days, there are tonnes of options so I thought I shouldn't completely close off the idea of having my own kids. Plus, who wouldn't want children with a tall handsome husband like J??

My periods have never been regular, except for the 3 years I was on the Pill while at college. So from way back then, I knew I was infertile. My first visit to Dr Hamid some 10 years ago found me with acute PCOS with a retroverted (tilted) uterus. He couldn't find my left ovary because it was covered in cysts. I never went back to him for a follow up because I really wasn't interested to improve my fertility. 10 years later, I went back and found zero cysts (thanks to the gym!) but with the same retroverted uterus. This time, closing in on 40, I've decided to take my fertility a little serious. I told the good doctor I want to correct my uterus before I embark on another costly fertility treatment. At least if I still can't conceive after the surgery, then I know being a mother is not meant to be.

I booked a date close to when my period was due. In fact I was so sure I was going to menstruate after the surgery. But the week leading to the surgery date, I started getting nagging abdominal cramps and I panicked that I'd be getting my period when I'm on the operating table. I even had one sleepless night worrying about it!! (The surgery can't take place if you're menstruating).

After driving J up the wall with my paranoia, and with a lot of prayers, I admitted myself to Pantai Medical Centre Bangsar and prepared myself for the mini surgery. I've read up enough about the procedure that I could probably do it myself!! It'll be a 45 minute surgery, with one hour prior, to put me on general anesthetic.

Come Monday morning, the nurse instructed me to put on my surgical cap and gown and I was whisked away to the operating room. My heart was pounding but I was happy to have this finally done. I am finally taking charge of my fertility!! After waiting for what seemed like an eternity in the surgical waiting room, I was finally wheeled in and moved to the operating table. Up above me were big spotlights all shiny and clean staring down at me. Hmmm...this looks just like on TV! The anesthetician told me he was going to put me under GA and I remember as I was about to shut my eyes, I told myself "here we go!" and went to black.

When I woke up, I felt a stinging pain at the abdominal area, but I was so drugged up I went back to sleep. I woke up again when I heard someone calling my name, and the anesthetician was asking me if i wanted a jab of pain killers. I nodded, they jabbed me, and I went to sleep. I woke up again when I felt like my period was coming out and panicked that the bed was going to be soaked with blood. I reached down and to my relief felt a big fat pad wedged between my legs. Phew!

I was wheeled back in after what seemed like forever at the recovering bay, and was happy to see husband J and Dad. But I was too drugged up to carry a conversation. The first day was hard getting up to go to the bathroom, and I wanted to pee a lot that day. It was still painful to move and pretty much stayed in the same position the entire time. Best friend Liza and sister Maz came by to visit, and later on Dad, but I was too groggy to talk, and so I slept all day.

The second day Maz came in the morning to wash me. Yes, I have a wonderful sister, and for all the challenges in my life, I am still very lucky. The pain subsided a bit and I was able to walk to the bathroom myself. I felt better too. Dr Hamid came by in the morning to give me a brief rundown on the 'work' he'd done. He fixed my uterus (yay!), fixed my tubes, lasered my ovaries, small cysts, and a bit of endo, and fibroids. FIBROIDS?? I didn't know I had fibroids!! It didn't show up in the scan and x-ray I did earlier this year. He gave me the specimen in a bottle and they looked like teeth. They were benign and probably popped out only recently. Funny though, all period symptoms I had were gone, and still no period! Could the operation alter my cycle?? Mom dropped by as she only found out of my operation after coming back from her trip to Russia. We didn't want to tell her as she'll worry and spoil her holiday.

By day 3, I was cleaning myself without any help. The nurse took off the bandage to expose the wound and told me I could go home. I only received the discharge slip 6 hours later. My whole body ached from lying down too much and so I was eager to go home so I could do more walking. Plus I miss the kitties, and having my J sleeping beside me (auwwwwww!).

My left side of the wound is still swollen and it hurts when I put a little pressure on it. I still have to walk very slowly but at least now I can move around. And I know tomorrow will be better.

For now, I hope for a speedy recovery so I can go back to my normal routine as soon as possible! Most importantly, I hope I get my period... soon.

OLD!!

august 16, 08 saturday
There's nothing more that screams "OLD!" than meeting with cousins you used to carry around when they were a toddler. It's as if someone pushed the fast-forward button and you missed the good bits because you were too self involved with your own life.

Let me explain first that I have lousy family values. I don't think my extended family is important at all so I never bothered with my cousins, uncles and aunties. I am even more estranged from my dad's side of the family. It has always been extremely awkward when there are family meetings with my dad and his family. I stick out like a sore thumb. The age gap is so far apart. I am the eldest on my dad's side, and with my on-air job, I know my younger cousins all know who I am.

I was at a wedding today. One of the younger cousins got married and so off I went with sister and husband J. As usual, we were the only relations not on the floor helping out ushering guests, we were the guests!! As we arrived at the entrance of the venue, I shook hands with my uncles and aunties, and with the cousins. They all bowed as they took my hand, and one attempted to kiss my hand!! Whoa! Yes, OK. I know, it's a polite gesture, required almost, especially to your eldest. But I was a bit appalled. I used to do that!! And now they're doing that to me!! Oh! Noooooo......

As usual, I was oblivious to who's who. They all looked like strangers to me. But then there was one guy I gawked at. Tall, fair, young, very handsome. I was gobsmacked! He was the one who tried to kiss my hand. Hmm...I didn't give a second thought, maybe he's from the other side of the family. I really had no idea who he was, but he was so darn cute!!

As we took our place at the table and gobbled the nasi minyak (its was good, by the way!), sister asked if I saw my youngest aunt's only son. Oh yes, him, the little one. I said 'no' and she pointed out to the "tall, fair, young, very handsome" guy I gawked at for a moment at the entrance. Yes, the one who attempted to kiss my hand. That one?? Your kidding!! That's my cousin?? The little Chinese-looking kid I used to carry around??

Seriously.

I felt old.

My Gawd has he grown!!

Again. I feel old.

The whole way home, I was in denial. He can't be that boy!! Impossible!! I told sister, I doubt he knows who I am, but she is convinced he does. After all, I am the eldest. Everybody knows the elsdest.

Gosh! I was in awe! He's all grown. Done with college. Working. He's a man!! He's hawt!

And he was my (little) cousin!! Whoa!!

I'm old.

Sh*t!

Gym Blues

august 11, 08 monday
I've been training with trainer Ela at Clark Hatch at the Hilton PJ for almost 3 years now, and for a good couple of years, I had no issues. It was pretty much training and go back. I didn't even socialise that much, except for an odd "hello's" here and there. For a little while, that gym felt like my second home. The staff were friendly and they know you by name. A far cry from the very impersonal Celebrity Fitness gym I went to before.

Then they went 24 hours, and it went downhill. The gym was never in order. There were mosquitoes attacking you when you train in the morning. It was dusty that when I had to lie on the floor, I'd sneeze and my eye would itch badly. Of course, there were barbells and weights all over the floor for you to trip over. It was a mess. And complaints about the condition to the centre manager only went to deaf ears. The Clark Hatch management was also discriminating towards freelance trainers. In the end, Ela and his clients have to dish out an extra RM100 a month to keep their mouths shut. I didn't really mind, as all I wanted was to train in peace. But for an extra RM100, I would expect better facilities and service.

Ela has been getting a lot of heartache from the in-house trainers as well. Jealousy. Spite. You name it. It has become increasingly difficult for any of us to train in peace. I don't know what the issue is really. We've mind our own business. Ela has not stolen any of their clients. We've been polite and cooperative. It's starting to feel like a detention camp and our patience has grown thin. So lately, Ela's been looking around for another gym to re-locate.

Today at training, Ela told me of his plans to move us out of Clark Hatch PJ. He's found a nice gym nearby, spacious, with good equipments and plenty of space to stretch. According to Ela, they have a stretching room!! Finding space to do your stretching at Clark Hatch PJ is a luxury so knowing that this other gym has a specific room for it is a delight!!

I don't want to jinx this so I won't indulge more. Let's wait till we all re-locate then I can spill the beans!!

All we want to do is train in peace, and not be involved or hear about the politics among the gym staff. And be treated with respect as members.. we're not even getting that. It's a real shame. I liked Clark Hatch. But they really should start going back to basics on what the gym was built on - great customer service. Something other bigger gyms seriously lack. Clark Hatch PJ was ideal for those who despise mega gyms (like I do!) and want to train in private. But now, with the run-down equipments, small space and bad service, I'm afraid Clark Hatch PJ has lost its sparkle. The sad part is? It doesn't look like it's going to improve.

Good riddance, Clark Hatch PJ!

Is KL so 'ulu'?

august 10, 08 sunday
I am still in my 'make-up craze' phase, whereby everyday I Google something about make-up trends, favourite celebrity products and You Tubing make-up tutorials.

I've been obsessed with drugstore brands lately, and I am kicking myself now for not spending time at Priceline or go to Kmart/Target and browse through their range of make-up while I was in Sydney. As always, when your out with the husband, its always rush rush rush. I never get to take my own time to do my own thing, which is essentially stare at the make-up display and playing with the colours.

So anyway. I'm so into NYX Cosmetics lately. Here's the clincher: IT'S NOT AVAILABLE IN MALAYSIA! I went on to their website and NYX is available in the Middle East, West Africa, Japan, Singapore (but of course!), Thailand and Indonesia! Apparently, it is huge in Jakarta, like the #1 cosmetics there! What? They didn't know KL existed? It's not an important enough market for a drugstore brand? Is it not upmarket enough for a drugstore brand like NYX?? Grrrrrr! And I have to put up with nonsense like Korean and Japanese brands!! Grrrrrr!

NYX is so cheap, it sells for less than USD10 in the US. I'm lusting over their jumbo eye pencils and lip glosses and their brushes. And their eye shadows are as good if not better than MAC. We don't even get cheapies like Rimmel!! Or Cover Girl (they pulled out 10 years ago!). And the international brands here sell crap!! Limited colours, limited products, limited choices!!

I can understand Singapore getting the upper-hand in everything-they are 5 years ahead- but really, Bangkok? Jakarta??

Yes, KL is a smaller market, but c'mon! We're not that ulu, are we??!?

The Mac is back in business!!

august 7, 08 thursday
I was brooding for awhile when my hand-me-down Mac iBook could not charge. Battery was low, and I could not do anything. It was frustrating, to say the very least. Husband J had shell out RM300 for a brand new hard drive so when we couldn't get the charger working, I concluded I just have no luck when it comes to Apple products (read my struggles with my iPod Shuffle in previous entries).

We brought the iBook to the Mac store (name escapes me at this moment) at Bangsar Village II. Their diagnosis was the motherboard and it would cost us RM3000 to have it replaced! J said 'no' and brought back the ailing iBook. I shoved it in my cupboard, hoping that maybe one day, we can come up with some brilliant idea that will not cost us RM3000. Obviously, nothing happened, and in the cupboard the iBook stayed.

Until last night.

Look, I love this iBook. It's sleeker and smaller than my big fat HP (although my HP is more reliable). I so want to fix the iBook, but not at RM3000! I might as well use that money for an eeePC or a mini HP. So, I told myself, I can shell out no more than RM500 to fix the iBook, so I decided to go for a second opinion with the real Mac experts at Machines, where J bought this iBook from. Hopefully, their diagnosis will not cost us (me) RM3000. *fingers crossed*

Today, I went off to the Machines store at The Gardens, opposite MidValley. Told the technician what was wrong, and after trying out other adapters on my iBook, he concluded the fuse in the plug head has died. He changed the tiny gadget and voila! It's charging again!! I was so happy!! And it only cost me RM5!! Yessssss!!!!! I can't believe those b@$tarD$ at the Mac shop at Bangsar Village II wanted to charge me RM3000!!!

I went home happily eager to power up my iBook. Only it didn't power up!! WTF?!? I was livid!! This is so typical!! What did I tell you about my sh!tty a$s luck with Apple products??!? The four lights at the bottom near the battery wasn't even blinking, and when I pushed the button near the battery, only the top light was flickering, all of 10 seconds.

Now, what would J do?? Ah, yes. Get on the 'net. So I switched on my trusty ol' HP, Googled the problem, and taa daa!! I may have the answer. Let's try this...

Take the battery out...

Plug in the adapter, power iBook up...

And it worked!!

Placed the battery back into its socket, and while I happily surfed the 'net, the battery was charging nicely. Well, whaddya know..

Travels: Sydney - Cheese at The Hunter

july 29, 08 tuesday
When the conversation of going back to Sydney popped up sometime back, husband J mentioned Hunter Valley. Beautiful vineyards with a variety of cheese. Hold up! Did somebody mentioned cheese? A variety of cheese?? CHEESE!! Do you not know what a cheese whore I've become? So from that day on, all I ever want to go is Hunter Valley, which I affectionately called "Cheese Country" (which in actual fact, The Hunter is more know as 'Wine Country'). I told J, he can go do whatever, but we must go to Cheese Country. When I got to father in-law's place, the entire family knew of our plans to go to The Hunter, it was amusing!!

So off we went. After days of sleeping in (Damn! That electric blanket!!), J and I finally drove to The Hunter in our rented car. It took forever to get out of Sydney but when we finally hit the highway to The Hunter, I was enjoying the drive. Since it is winter, the vineyards were all closed for the season, so I didn't get to see the beautiful landscape. Oh! Well! The whole entire trip really was for me to devour in cheese. So nothing else really mattered.

We got there at almost 3pm, and the wine tour was closed. Who cares! I want the cheese! Where's the darn cheese?? And there it was.... Like the doors of heaven opened....Stacks and stacks of cheese. Glorious cheese! I was amazed at the variety, I want them all!! I was like a kid in a candy store!!

Snacks of the Gods...

There was a tasting counter and I practically had a little of everything, until my taste buds were confused!! They all tasted so darn good! How do you choose?! And then, as if my question was answered, we saw some of the more popular cheese with some crackers and raisins, neatly packed. I got so excited, grabbed one, paid and we sat down to feed my nagging taste buds.

Beautiful food: crackers, raisins with (l-r) the yummiest feta, brie, gorgeous Irish cheddar and my favourite-blue cheese.

The aftermath!

When we got back to Marrickville, it was already dark (and cold!). But I was a happy puppy. I burped and farted cheese all the way, and into the night! I have never tasted cheese that good. And as I am writing this, I wish I could have some more of that gorgeous dairy snack food. I'm already salivating! How did I turn into such a cheese whore, I blame J. If I ever get fat, you know it's all down to the cheese-y factor!!

Viva la-cheese!

Beauty Binge: Concealers pt. 2

july 28, 08 monday
Continue.. (warning again: pictures in bad quality. Sorry!)

Mineral makeup concealers: Simply Naturale Multi-Tasking Concealer & Everyday Minerals Concealer in Sunlight
Mineral Makeup usually come in powder form and it takes getting used to. These 2 concealers do quite a decent job at covering my dark circles. I would normally buff in the smaller pot - Everyday Minerals Concealer in before layering it with the Multi-tasking concealer by Simply Naturale. They give a natural finish. I also use the Multi-tasking concealer for blemishes and other imperfections on the face. Sometimes, I don't even use foundation, the concealers' all I need.


Bobbi Brown Moisturizing Cream Compact Foundation in 3 Beige (sample size)
I got this when I bought BB brushes and thought with the size and the colour, it would make a great concealer. It does!! The colour is yellow-based, which is great for dark circles and it is quite easy to blend. Only thing is that is settles into the rack of my lines/wrinkles!! For some reason, this is hidden away in my many makeup bags and so is always forgotten. So I hardly use this one, but maybe today, I will!!

YSL Touche Elclat in #2 and Loreal Touche Magique Illuminating pens in shades 3 & 4

These are not concealers per se, but they do a good job at hiding shadows and the like. But if you use illuminating pens to conceal, you need to blend, blend, blend! Or else, it can look quite mask-y. I like to take these when I travel because they don't take up too much space. I use them as concealers sometimes as they are very easy to blend. The Loreal Touche Magique pens have been discontinued. I remember the pharmacies selling shades 3 & 4, but I saw shades 1 & 2 at the Low Cost departure terminal a couple of years ago. Should I have bought the lighter shades because 3 & 4 don't look too much different from each other. Oh! Well! And of course the YSL Touche Eclat...I think shade 2 is too light for me, but it does a good job at highlighting. However at RM100+ a pop, I don't think I will be revisiting the YSL booth after this dries out...

More Beauty Binge reports coming up. But first, must update my recent trip to Sydney and upload pictures!

Hang on!!

Beauty Binge: Concealers pt. 1

july 27, 08 sunday
I am aware of the many beauty blogs in cyberspace, many of which I have visited. Although one of my passion is makeup and beauty, I will not turn this into another beauty blog. But I will share some of the makeup in my stash every once in awhile.

Lately, my 'flavour of the month' is splurging on makeup. My recent trip to Sydney has sparked my obsession with drugstore brands, particularly those not available in Malaysia. I don't confess being a high-end brand snob, because, really, I'm not. But the drugstore brands available here are not too impressive. We are flooded with Korean and Japanese brands, and honestly, to me, they seemed of poor quality, when we all know there are many drugstore brands that can rival even the most expensive in the beauty market.

One of my must-have makeup product is concealer, and as I age, this item is indispensable. For a long time, I have woken up at 4.30am for my radio show. With that crazy schedule came horrendous dark eye circles. Even with 8 hours sleep. From young, I've always had dark circles and eye bags. They are built-in almost. No matter how many different eye creams/gels I have used. So the best remedy is a concealer. Finding a good one that works is another challenge altogether. Like everything else, concealers are trial and error.

(Please excuse the bad pictures - I suck at taking pictures!)


Loreal True Match Concealer
So far, my favourite. I've almost used up one tube (which is very rare for me to finish up a makeup item!), and bought another tube of the same shade N3-4, which is more of a neutral colour. On me, it looks a tad bit light, but not enough to make me look like a raccoon. The texture is very blendable, doesn't quite last throughout the day, but the coverage is natural enough. A few days ago, I saw another shade which got me excited. I quickly bought W6-7-8, a slightly darker colour with warmer yellow undertones. This shade seemed to fit me better, but really, I can't tell much difference between the two.

MAC Studio Finish SPF35 Concealer in NC42
I've tried different MAC concealers before this one, and this is the only one which is taking forever to finish! The consistency is thick yet creamy and the coverage is opaque, does quite a good job at covering up dark circles, even bad ones like mine. But after sometime, it cakes and settles into the cracks of your fine lines and/or wrinkles!! Great for nighttime, but keep a light hand during the day. Good thing about MAC products, they come in an array of shades.


Napoleon concealer
This is an Australian product, created by Aussie celebrity makeup artist, Napoleon Perdis. This concealer is thinner and creamer then the MAC (above), and comes in 4 shades only: light,amber,medium and dark. I didn't get to test the product in the store, so I grabbed the medium shade. In the pan, it looked just about right. But when I used it on my dark circles, it was quite light that I had to do some serious blending! It doesn't really cover very dark circles, and doesn't really last that long. One pan cost AU$28, which isn't bad, considering it is a cult favourite, especially among Aussie makeup artists. And we all know how ridiculously expensive makeup is in Oz!

To be continued...

Travels: Sydney by car

july 17, 08 thursday
We wanted to go to Hunter Valley ("The Hunter") today, but got up late (9:30am!!). Damn! That electric blanket!! So when we finally got our asses out of bed and showered, we head out to find a car we can rent. Got a Hyundai Accent (pretty basic car) for AUD45 a day with AU$200 as down payment. We were going to hire for 2 days. As we were trying to find our way out, husband J suggested that we go to The Hunter tomorrow.

So we stopped by for a Turkish breakfast. I had 'mehlemi', spinach with eggs cracked over it, and Turkish breads....it was beauuuutiful!! J decided to go for the sickly sweet pancake (huge!) with honey and bananas.

Going Turkish: mehlemi

Husband J's choice: pancakes!!

Met up with Woody, J's childhood good friend in Eastwood. Chatted for a bit, as they do here in OZ, at the Eastwood pub, which looked more like a restaurant! J took a nostalgic drive around Eastwood, and showed me places where he used to play at.

Driving in Sydney is a tad bit intimidating. I refused to drive! So J did the driving! We agreed how small the lanes are in Sydney! But I love the way everyone stopped at zebra crossings here..I wish we do that in KL. That was one thing I wasn't sure of driving in Sydney. I am such a KL driver - selfish and aggressive. Don't know how that would work here in Sydney. I'd run people down!!

But I am so proud of J. Not too long ago, he didn't drive. And today, he's driving me around...in Sydney!!

We're going to the Hunter tomorrow. Looking forward to the 3-hour drive!

Travels: Sydney on Wednesday

july 17, 08 thursday
Today, husband J and I thought we'd get some shopping out of the way. Since the Pope will be in town, we didn't want to have to wrestle through the massive crowd in the city.

We started the day off at a nice little cafe just down the street. One thing I love about Sydney is the small cafes and their awesome coffee. Breakfast was good, albeit a bit late (We slept in!Damn! That electric blanket!).

We had to find our way to the Metro (a local shopping centre) so that husband J could renew his driver's license. We took a cab down to the city centre and went to the shops carrying J's sizes. This was his once-a-year shopping spree, that poor fellow!! But he got his jeans, and 3 pairs of footwear, which included slippers. I've been harassing him to go buy slippers, but every time he came back from Sydney, it was more casual shoes. So I am glad this time he bought slippers!! You need slippers in KL mate!!

All this time, the weather is gorgeous, not too hot, not too cold. I was walking around in my t-shirt top and lugging my winter jacket around. It was a beautiful day! We ended up having lunch at 4pm at the harbour, and was once again amused at the 'pilgrims' running around singing and taking pictures at the harbour.

At 5pm, it was getting dark and cold, so we quickly took a train back to Marrickville, getting off at the Sydenham station. I love taking the train, although it was packed to the brim! The whole train-taking idea is so metro!! I felt like it was New York or London....But yeah, it is Sydney... I love the idea of hopping on and off a train coming back from work... I wish I could figure out which line goes to which station goes to which suburb goes to which part of the city...

Travels: G'day Sydney!

july 17, 08 thursday
This blog is a little overdue, because we arrived in Sydney on Tuesday morning i.e 2 days ago. Just have not had a chance to update as I had plan before I left KL. Of course, we were on an 8-hour flight and had little to no sleep might have something to do with it as well.

Before we left, husband J's twin Ant warned us that winter in Sydney that week was freezing. So imagine our surprise when we got in at about 8-ish in the a.m, and the weather was nice! It was about 20 degrees, no wind and sunny! With my sister's winter jacket, I felt a little overdressed!

We grabbed a cab to father in-law's place in Eastwood, and was taken aback at having to pay AUD113.80 for the trip! Also I might add our visit coincided with the Pope's visit to Australia, in conjunction with World Youth Day (WYD), so we were quite amused seeing over enthusiastic catholic 'pilgrims' at the airport. They were waving flags, dancing, singing....Jeez!

We got to father in-law's place and it was good seeing the old man again. He looked well. The last time I saw him was at our wedding, and he looked frighteningly frail. He's moving on with age I guess, but this time, he actually looked like he has more colour to his face! We chatted, caught up with family goss and the like, before brother in-law David and pregnant wife Sue dropped by! I haven't seen them in 3 years! We had lunch, chatted some more, oldest brother Paul popped by for a bit. Chatted some more and pretty much crashed when everyone left.

Ant and girlfriend Nat came by later that evening to pick us up, as we are staying with them for the week. We stopped by at a pub near by and had pub grub. I just chowed down a small pizza, I wasn't very hungry anyway as I kind of pigged out at the Golden lounge in KLIA and on the plane. Typical of me! I was fading away as well. The journey finally caught up with me. As the 3 Aussies were catching up on local stuff, the conversation sounded like it was in a tunnel. You know how that is when your really tired. And I was very tired! When we finally made a move, I swear I was already in dreamland.

We arrived at this quaint little house in Marrickville, the inner west of Sydney. It's about 10 minutes away from the airport and about 15 minutes from the city centre (CBD). The temperature dropped at night, to about 9 degrees. And mind you, Aussie homes have no central heating. Ant and Nat have a small portable heater which they use for the living room, but our room (and everywhere else)has no heating. However, Nat has this awesome electric duvet (or "duner" in Australia), and the minute I got under it, I didn't want to come out! It was thick and oh-so-warm! And so I did, under the electric blanket I went, and before I knew it..

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Travels: Sydney, here we come!

july 13, 08 sunday
It's been a long awaited journey for me and especially husband J. I've not seen some of my in-laws since the wedding! So this trip has been long overdue. Husband J and I had plans many many times to go back, but always got sidetracked to Cambodia or Phuket. So, this time, at the height of winter (!!!), we've decided to visit our family in Sydney. We leave tomorrow evening for the 8-hour flight.

Yes, Sydney at this time, is in winter, when the rest of the world is enjoying summer. I can never get my head around it, having 'grown up' with the idea of winter in December, NOT July. But oh! well! I married an Aussie, so (almost) everything is a learning curve for me. I'm all packed and ready to rumble. This is the first time I've packed so little clothes. But yet, my suitcase is full to the brim. I know, I know, I usually over packed. But this time, I doubt I've over done it. The jumpers are eating up space and I've decided to hand carry my winter jacket. Imagine if I had that in the luggage too!! I'm not too thrilled going to Sydney in winter. I know some Malaysians love winter, so they can show off wearing stylish jackets and boots. I am at my worst during winters. I am the sloppiest when it's cold! No boots. No long stylish jackets. Just normal ankle high boots, and huuuuge jackets and jumpers, courtesy from my college days some 15 years ago! All my winter stuff are so out of date, but who cares??

Husband J looks excited. He's seeing his family again. And for all the grief I give him about meeting new people and not enough sightseeing, I am happy to see him excited. We'll be staying with his twin and girlfriend this time around. So this will be a good reunion I hope.

So off we go to (freezing) Sydney!

Binti

july 10, 08 thursday
If there was one word I can delete from my long name, it's 'binti'. I mean, what the hell's a binti?? It's just eating up space, and making my already long name, longer. Plus, it doesn't make any sense. The fact I deliberately omit binti from my name has now caused a cheque to be returned. Returned cheques mean no money.

sigh

I did an event for a health company on my last day at work last month, and was issued a cheque for the amount agreed. Happily, I deposited the cheque, only to find a letter from the bank weeks later that it was rejected. A few calls to the bank later, I found out that the problem was the darn word 'binti'. I gave the clients my name without the binti. Yes, how stupid can I be, right? It's part of my name I never use. And so, the cheque was returned. Go figure. Just because of one word - binti. It is appalling how rigid our banking system is. OK, I get it, that it's for security reasons. But really, wasn't my IC number enough? Or my account number?? Now I have to get the client to issue me another cheque. And I pray to God that won't be an issue!

I learned not too long ago that you don't need to add the word 'bin' or 'binti' to your child's name anymore. Thank God! Because I can't imagine to have it as my kid's name together with husband J's last name. It will just sound odd! And too long!! Plus, I just don't like that word. I hope that option to leave out bin or binti is true. We need not be so rigid! There must be options!!

It's 2008 after all! Not 1908!!

Use your own toilet, Mok!

july 9, 08 wednesday
Nothing ever happens when your at home, not working. All my friends are working, and my life these days revolves around tidying up the lawn, the malls (occasionally!), the gym, the husband and the cats.

Ahh...the cats. Raisa and Mok. The 'kids' in my life. These days, I find myself picking up after Raisa's poo and wiping her pee, and persuading Mok to get out of the bathroom so Raisa can eat, drink, poo and pee. Also trying to suss out Mok's peculiar behaviour lately and his love for the bathroom. Yeah, I know. My life these days is so exciting! Which explains the lack of updates lately. And also this story to follow.

I went off the gym as usual this afternoon, and received a phone call from my best friend Liza for coffee after gym. Since I am leaving for Sydney next week, I thought yeah, why not and catch up on gossips and such. After all, the girl is single, and her life seems much more interesting than mine these days. So we were at Starbucks, as usual, chatting away. Went home to find my beloved Mok sitting on the bed. Now, let me take you back a bit. Before I left for the gym, Mok was on the bed. Frolicking. Loving me. Both fans were on, and I left them on when I went to the gym. I was being thoughtful. I love the bit fat hairy Mok, so I thought I'd leave the fans on so he wouldn't feel hot and restless. I wanted him to be comfortable. Yes, I am a nice owner. Heck, I am a great owner!

So what did I get in return after all that? I got home with Mok in the dark, still on my bed. And he was being surprisingly loving. Too loving. I mean, naturally he is a loving cat, but tonight, he was a bit too loved up. I didn't suspect anything, indulged in him a bit before going about my business.

Then I sat on my side of the bed. Hello? What's this wet patch? What is this big wet patch??! MOK!!!!!!! You peed on my bed??? Why?? It's not that you can't jump down from the bed! And the blinking room door was open too!!

I peeled off the sheets and dumped them and the duvet in the washing machine. Grabbed the Dettol spray, Febreze and the hair dryer. Used them on the big wet patch. There was still slight pee odor and a big yellow stain on the mattress. Now I am just letting the area to dry. I'm pretty sure there will be no odor, but still....I have to sleep on Mok's pee, or the stain. Same difference.

So for the time being, until I can trust Mok again, he is forbidden to be in the room.

MOK!!!!

The gym

july 4, 08 friday
I had a few new plans when I just resigned. One of them was to go to the gym more often. More like everyday. So far, have not done everyday, but have done 4 times a week. Which is a good start, no? Furthermore, I now have an iPod. That keeps me going for at least an hour.

So on Tuesday, which is not a regular gym day, I had my gym bag packed and was ready to go. Grabbed my iPod and off I went. In the car, I decided to put the iPod on, just to listen to a song. (Dangerous, I know. Got a third degree from husband J when he found out!) Anyway, I switched it on, pressed play. Nothing. Pressed play again. Nothing. Switched off and on again. Nothing. Oi!! What is going on?? What is this shitty luck I have with this iPod?? I was contemplating whether or not I should continue driving to the gym. I can't go without my iPod! Just like I can't workout without trainer Ela, pre-iPod days! sigh. So what's a girl to do?? Turn back, of course! I was still gung-ho about going to the gym that evening. So I thought, maybe the battery's dead. Go home, charge it (I was convinced it wouldn't take long to charge), and head out to the gym. It was still early, after all. I'd be done before traffic starts.

So I got home, switched on my laptop, and plugged in my iPod. Ahh!! The light on the iPod is orange. According to the instruction book, orange means charging. OK, I wait. 15 minutes later, it was still charging. Half hour later, still charging. An hour later, the light's still orange! I realised this was going to take awhile, like charging the phone, I guess. So I decided to cancel gym that day!!

Here I am on a Friday, which I earlier decided to hit the gym in the morning, because I suddenly turn lazy on Fridays. I'm looking at the time, looks like it'll be another no-show at the gym! Even with the iPod working! Oh! Well! I was good this week though, turning up the required 3 times a week with trainer Ela. Maybe, this week, I chill for a bit. And start self training on non-Ela days next week...

Hmm...

We'll see how it goes...